Thursday, March 31, 2011

Busy days

Life has a way of being very busy sometimes.  Our kids threw us a 25th Anniversary party on the 19th and it was wonderful.  We had such a nice time.  It was an open house type so the people could come and go at different times.  It was perfect for us.  Rob surprised me with a beautiful necklace with a cross and a heart on it.  We had such a good time.

On Monday, I rode home with our youngest son and family and spent the next 9 days with them.  I had a wonderful time and came home yesterday evening. They were moving so I had lots of gma time with the little one. He's 18 months old and is such a character.  I rested whenever I needed to and they are such easy people to be around that it made it more like a vacation for me than "work".  I did no cooking.  (That always wears me out).  They have moved to a home on a bluff overlooking the mountains and it is so peaceful there.  The views are tremendous and the quiet is amazing.  I spent several hours watching the deer and other wild life outside the windows.  The area is rocky and very dry.  It was so peaceful there.  I hated to leave. 

I'm very tired, but its a good tired.  I paced myself carefully.  I eased into whatever we were doing and often stayed at home when they were out and about.  It was one of those "it is worth it" times in life.  If I crash, it was well worth it.  I seldom get these opportunities in life and decided to take advantage of it.

I am going to have my blood coagulation defect tests done next Tues.  I am ready to know if that is part of my problem or not.

I've missed you all and I'm glad to be back.  The break was good for me though.  And they had cable so I got to watch HGTV too:) 

Poor Rob is exhausted and has slept most of the day today.  I don't think he slept well while I was gone. 

God bless you and hold you close.


Monday, March 14, 2011

Up in the air

Hello to you all.  Things are crazy here right now.  Our Internet is only working part of the time so I'm not on much.  The repairman is supposed to "call" to set up a time to come... we shall see...

We may have to move much sooner than we had hoped.  We own our mobile home, but the land is not ours.  The estate is not settled yet, and due to some technicalities,(the state is building a new bridge and will take some of the land)  it won't be for a while, so our permission by the county to have our home here has been relinquished.  We have until April 11 to make plans.  We are appealing the decision, but its a hard thing to accomplish.  My brother who is the executor of the estate is helping us all he can.  We just received the notice late Friday. 

 We have a 5th wheel trailer we could live in if necessary.  We lived in it for 4 years while my husband Rob was working for a recreation company and we did fine.  Much easier to keep clean:).

We know God has His hand in this and we are waiting for His voice. 

I crashed over the weekend due to a long week, but a good one. I was crashed before we got the news about our house but that certainly did not help.   I am feeling some better today. 

Rob continues to improve since his surgery and can now drive which is helping me tremendously.

Blessings to you all,


Friday, March 4, 2011

Plodding along

Things are going along.  My husband Rob is still doing well with his shoulder surgery recovery, but was told today that he was using it too much and to ease up.  He's been more careful today....

He is able to drive some again, but very limited so I am still the driver.  I'm more tired than I'd been and am resting more to compensate.  So far the crushing fatigue is holding at bay and I just have the pain.

My eating plan has stopped working.  I have started gaining weight at a fairly quick rate.  So, I have adjusted my eating plan.  I have added back meat and a little dairy.  I have cut out grain based carbs and am eating lots of veggies and fruit.  No sugar & no salt added.  I've been doing it for just a few days and I actually feel a little stronger.  I was getting all my protein from beans and soy based substitutes.  I'd been eating that way for almost 3 years.  It had been working fine for me.  I have no idea what happened.  Any ideas?

Our little dog has some sort of skin infection and needs a bath three times a week.  That is hard for me, but so far I am managing.  He was so sick.  The vet was very concerned about him.  He's on antibiotics and steroids too.  He's a little shi tzu and I love him dearly.  We also have a big dog (almost 100 lbs) who is a sweet heart too.  They provide us with a lot of joy and companionship. 

So in spite of how I might feel, life continues.  The good and bad times come and go.  My symptoms ebb and flow along with all of it.  And it's good to be part of life, even from the side lines.  Some days the phone or Internet is my sole companion. Rob's other illnesses sometimes cause him to withdraw and sleep a lot. 

Thanks for being a part of my life.



Tuesday, March 1, 2011

Seeing Invisible People

I had a very interesting day yesterday.  I had a counseling appointment and I was early.  In the building there is a prayer room.  I had never had time to enter into it before.  As I went in, I felt a peace and a calm within my soul.  I spent about 15 minutes there, reading some of what other people had left behind, looking and praying.  I had a wonderful counseling session afterwards.

I had to get dog food and found I was too tired to drive home.  I went into a local sandwich shop and had a snack.  As I was sitting there, reading the local paper and eating, a man stopped and started a conversation with me.  I was a bit taken aback, but he looked harmless and after all, I was inside a shop with people all around me. 

He started to talk about newspapers and how he had worked for many different ones over the years.  He had written lots of articles, published his church's newsletter, and done many other things associated with newspapers.  It was interesting to talk to him and mostly I listened. 

He began to tell me his story.  He had been the victim of a vicious mugging that left him near death.  He had a profound awakening and decided to live his life for God instead of people.  He had not been a believer before his mugging.  He shared about his experience and his life since.  His wife has cystic fibrosis and had he died, she would have been sent to a nursing home.  He wears a hat due to all the scarring on his head from his many surgeries.  He has limited use of his right hand, but is thankful for every day now here on earth.  He is happy to be caring for his wife, even though he has to walk everywhere as his license was revoked. 

As I listened to his story, I was overcome with joy.  He shared his faith walk, his views, and mostly just wanted to be heard.  He had so much to share and was so open and honest.  And yet, to the casual eye, he "looked normal".  He looked "well".   And God spoke to me through him.  There are so many people who have a bigger story to tell.  We are so busy and involved with our lives, that they often are overlooked.  Those of us with invisible illnesses are often simply ignored by those whose lives are busy and full.  I could have missed a chance to hear his story and share his life.  I could have been afraid and ignored him.  I could have missed his faith story.  I could have missed God.

But because I could relate and identify with him, I didn't.  I heard his cry to be heard and to have someone listen.  He carries a huge burden caring for his wife.  He is isolated much of the time.  But he does it with joy and with love.  He values each day and wants to share as much of Jesus with others as he can.  He might be different, but he is still human and has human needs.  He has value and has purpose.  He is invisible to many, but a  jewel in God's eyes. 

So are we my friends.  We have value.  No matter whether we can get out of bed, off the couch, out of the house, or not, we have value.  We need to remember that.  When we are down and out, we need to remember that we are exactly where we are supposed to be, doing exactly what we are supposed to be doing.  There is a purpose to our lives, even when we can't see it.

As I drove home, rested and renewed, filled with joy and peace, I found my strength returning, my hope surging and my life full.

I got home and greeted my dear husband and dogs. I was tired and found myself totally relaxed.  I took a two hour nap and woke ready to tackle the rest of the day. 

I didn't feel invisible  yesterday.  I felt full.  My heart sang and my soul rejoiced.  Today, those feelings are still with me.  I am here and I will do my best to continue to do whatever I am called to do.

I hope and pray that in the midst of your day, you will find a place of value and purpose.  That you will be filled with joy, hope, and peace.  That your cup would run over and you would have more than you need. 

Blessings to you all today.