Post OP

Hi everyone.
I'm home from the hospital and doing quite well.  I am up and walking with my walker and have exercises to do often.  I have the coolest machine that when I'm hooked up to it, moves my knee up and down by set degrees.  It helps the knee to not be as stiff and sore.  I also have an ice machine and that does wonders with the cooling effects.

I so appreciate all your kind words and thoughts and prayers. 

Rob is doing well also.  He has a really bad knee also, so am hoping it will hold on until I'm all fixed up:)

Blessings to you all.

A new doctor

Well, I did it.  I found a new doc and have an apt next week to get to know her.  As I was calling around, the doc I have now was the name I was given over and over..... makes me wonder what I did to make her dislike me so much?  Oh well, water under the bridge and moving on!
I appreciate all your kind word of encouragement!  It means so much to me and keeps me going.

This week went by in a blur.  I slept the first part of it.  Then the sunshine came back and I sat in the sun and worked jigsaw puzzles:)  Lovely. 

 Then I got notified that I was a runner up in a contest I'd entered with an author I love.  Jane Kirkpatrick!  If you haven't read anything by her, look her up.  She's great.  I won her new book and three other authors new books!!!!!  So now I have some new reading material for the rainy days on the way:)  I seldom win anything so it was a real treat! 

Then someone close to us stopped by with coupons for dog food that will keep our dog fed for several months for FREE!  What a blessing that is!  He weighs nearly 100 lbs and is expensive to feed:)  Our little dog eats much less and is on a special diet as he's old....

My husband had three GOOD days in a row!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  That in itself is a huge blessing!!!!!  He worked outside and got some sun and got lots of "fall" things done too! 

Yesterday we had 6 of our 7 gkids for a few hours:):):)  Rob helped and it was nice so they could play outside and did.  Some played the WII and games on the computer and everyone took turns and shared!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  I had a nice visit with my daughter in law and son in law when they picked up kids too!  I was exhausted and had a frozen dinner for supper:)  So did Rob. 

All in all, I'd say this was one of the best weeks we've had in a very long time.  One to tuck away and remember when things aren't going well....

God is good, all the time.  Even when life isn't!

Again, thanks for all your uplifting words!!!! 

Blessings to you all,
Elaine

Unintentional Pain

Today I was hit hard with it.  Someone was talking about a person who had just had surgery and was unable to walk and he had a garden to plant and things to do.  The comment was made that "he will get it done some how, he's such a strong person".  I laughed for a moment and then wanted to cry.  Immediately the song "you can't keep a good man down" entered my head.

If he can "do" it, in spite of his limitations, then where does that leave me when I can't?  How do I measure up?  What makes me less able to overcome my limitations when all around me there are those who "work through the pain....."

I was happy for the person who was able.  I honestly was.  But at that moment I felt that old pain of not measuring up.  If I was good enough, this disease would not control me..... I would just make myself keep going wouldn't I?

I wanted to shout out that it's not always  possible to keep going.  My body shuts down and says enough and stops.  Willpower and being good have NOTHING to do with what I can and can't do.  I have tried pushing hard and paid a heavy price for my actions.  Occasionally I make the decision to "do it anyway" and pay the price.  Sometimes its worth it.... I know I've mentioned some of this before.  I've been measuring, weighing, and parceling out my "energies" for so long that it is just second nature now. 

But then along comes those "times".  When breathing is an effort.  Walking is a shuffle and a short one at that.  (Do I really need to go to the bathroom or can it wait another hour).....  I know I haven't been drinking my water, but I would have to walk to the kitchen to get a drink... besides, if I drink, I will have to get up more often.......

It sounds like some of you are hurting too.  The weight of our illnesses can be overwhelming at times.  The pain of our losses too great.  Our hope seems to have been robbed from us.  And we are left with only our thoughts. 

What a lonely place that can be!

But there is a hope and His name is Jesus.  He will meet us there in that lonely place and hold us close.  He will nurture us and give us all that we need to survive.  He will renew our spirit and give us joy.  He may not heal our bodies, but He will heal our minds and our souls.  He will make us complete.  And even if our bodies are not healed, we have the knowledge that one day they will be.  There is a place called Heaven where there is no more pain or suffering.  We will run and dance.  We will do all those things that we are unable to do right now.  We must hold on to the faith and know that even though we are tired and sick now, those better days are coming!

Hold on my friends.  Jesus is coming!  We can make it.  He will give us the strength needed to face each and every day until He calls us home.

God Bless You All!

Elaine

Seeing Invisible People

I had a very interesting day yesterday.  I had a counseling appointment and I was early.  In the building there is a prayer room.  I had never had time to enter into it before.  As I went in, I felt a peace and a calm within my soul.  I spent about 15 minutes there, reading some of what other people had left behind, looking and praying.  I had a wonderful counseling session afterwards.

I had to get dog food and found I was too tired to drive home.  I went into a local sandwich shop and had a snack.  As I was sitting there, reading the local paper and eating, a man stopped and started a conversation with me.  I was a bit taken aback, but he looked harmless and after all, I was inside a shop with people all around me. 

He started to talk about newspapers and how he had worked for many different ones over the years.  He had written lots of articles, published his church's newsletter, and done many other things associated with newspapers.  It was interesting to talk to him and mostly I listened. 

He began to tell me his story.  He had been the victim of a vicious mugging that left him near death.  He had a profound awakening and decided to live his life for God instead of people.  He had not been a believer before his mugging.  He shared about his experience and his life since.  His wife has cystic fibrosis and had he died, she would have been sent to a nursing home.  He wears a hat due to all the scarring on his head from his many surgeries.  He has limited use of his right hand, but is thankful for every day now here on earth.  He is happy to be caring for his wife, even though he has to walk everywhere as his license was revoked. 

As I listened to his story, I was overcome with joy.  He shared his faith walk, his views, and mostly just wanted to be heard.  He had so much to share and was so open and honest.  And yet, to the casual eye, he "looked normal".  He looked "well".   And God spoke to me through him.  There are so many people who have a bigger story to tell.  We are so busy and involved with our lives, that they often are overlooked.  Those of us with invisible illnesses are often simply ignored by those whose lives are busy and full.  I could have missed a chance to hear his story and share his life.  I could have been afraid and ignored him.  I could have missed his faith story.  I could have missed God.

But because I could relate and identify with him, I didn't.  I heard his cry to be heard and to have someone listen.  He carries a huge burden caring for his wife.  He is isolated much of the time.  But he does it with joy and with love.  He values each day and wants to share as much of Jesus with others as he can.  He might be different, but he is still human and has human needs.  He has value and has purpose.  He is invisible to many, but a  jewel in God's eyes. 

So are we my friends.  We have value.  No matter whether we can get out of bed, off the couch, out of the house, or not, we have value.  We need to remember that.  When we are down and out, we need to remember that we are exactly where we are supposed to be, doing exactly what we are supposed to be doing.  There is a purpose to our lives, even when we can't see it.

As I drove home, rested and renewed, filled with joy and peace, I found my strength returning, my hope surging and my life full.

I got home and greeted my dear husband and dogs. I was tired and found myself totally relaxed.  I took a two hour nap and woke ready to tackle the rest of the day. 

I didn't feel invisible  yesterday.  I felt full.  My heart sang and my soul rejoiced.  Today, those feelings are still with me.  I am here and I will do my best to continue to do whatever I am called to do.

I hope and pray that in the midst of your day, you will find a place of value and purpose.  That you will be filled with joy, hope, and peace.  That your cup would run over and you would have more than you need. 

Blessings to you all today.

Elaine