Another wet, cool day here. I am so very tired of this weather, but when I complain, I only have to think of those who have lost everything with the tornadoes, floods, fires, earthquakes, volcanoes..... and I am humbled and know that a little rain and cool temps won't hurt me at all. So, I will stop complaining about the weather!
My little pots of flowers and veggies are coming along nicely. The peas are up and the tomatoes are doing well. Many of the containers of flowers are doing very well too. Some didn't come up at all, but then I was using old seeds...
I have been fighting severe anxiety lately. I KNOW I need to trust and rest in Jesus, but for some reason, I've just not been able to do it. I am trying so hard.
I think it may be that there are so many things going on right now. Things that are totally out of my control. It appears that the state is finally moving on the bridge project and they set out markers yesterday. The temporary easement is 18 feet from our house. The permanent one is about 22 feet. They will take ALL the trees and hedge out in front (facing the road) (a state hwy-very busy) and we will be like sitting ducks for all to view. I am very distressed about this. We will also loose all our shade trees. The safety issue bothers me greatly. We have had several fatal accidents in front of and near our home and with no trees, they will be in our house. My brother is coming in June and we will all have a meeting with the state to start negotiations with them. Nothing is in stone yet. We were hoping that they would buy us out rather than leave us just feet from the work zone (two years of noise and activity). I am not sure either one of us can handle it. Noise is not a good thing for either of us. Please pray for us.
I hurt my arm earlier this month and it is healing slowly. The doc thinks I strained a muscle. It's been very painful.
I am going to have my knee replacement sometime this summer. It has gotten to the point of no return.
I've been fighting the fatigue and more pain as of late. I am pushing to do some of the things I value and of course I am paying for it, but its worth it. I went to the school for grandparents day and had a wonderful time. We have been watching gkids often and carting them to activities too. This is such a busy time for all the adults with school grinding to an end. We have three birthdays in May. (grand kids) The ballet recital is coming up as is the music recital. I try to attend them.
I did have a wonderful visit with my counselor and she helped me put things into perspective. She is a fantastic Christian woman.
As you can tell from this post, part of my trouble is that I can't keep a thought long enough to do anything with it...
I've been having fun watching the birds and squirrels in our yard.
And I'm doing my very best to rest in the arms of Jesus and allow Him to take my burdens and hold them for me.
Blessings to you all,
Elaine
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Hi Elaine
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry to hear that you are dealing with such a terrible situation. We do need so much quiet time and I cannot imagine the stress of the builders and the highway right at your door. I will be praying that the state will buy your property and that you will be able to find a nice quiet place to live...a place of grace with space and healing. I will also be praying for your arm to heal and for your up and coming knee surgery. I relate to your anxiety as I deal with that myself at times. Goodness, your plate is full. So thankful you have someone to talk to. Anxiety can be horrible to cope with...so dear friend, if I may call you that, you know Jesus does not want you to struggle like this. He loves you so very much and you can trust Him and bring all your worries to Him to carry. Sending hugs and prayers your way today, Elaine and in the coming days...
So sorry you have so much going on right now, Elaine. The situation with the road sounds especially challenging - I hope there will be some sort of resolution for you.
ReplyDeleteYou are right about this time of year with school-age kids - crazy!! How wonderful that you are able to attend your grandkids' events. I know my kids wish their grandparents lived closer.
So funny that you are sick of the cool weather. We seem to have already hit summer here in Delaware - that means temps in the 90s and very high humidity. The 10-day forecast shows the same every day. I grew up further north and really hate this kind of heat and humidity. So, I would love a little cool weather! ha ha We'll be vacationing in northern Cal and OR next month and I can't wait for the cooler temps in the mountains.
How wonderful that you have planted some veggies. I would really love to do that but never seem to find the time or energy.
I don't want to add to your worries, but I saw your comment on my blog today and just wanted to clarify that there are plenty of ticks and Lyme disease in Oregon, just so you are aware of the risks. The ticks that carry it can be found anywhere there are deer and mice, and Lyme disease has been documented in every single state (not 100% sure about Hawaii). So, it's best to wear bug spray or long pants and check for ticks after being outside. In fact...given your symptoms and your joint pain, have you ever been tested for Lyme? Just a thought - it can be almost impossible to tell it apart from CFS and FM. And it is treatable.
Hang in there - you are in my thoughts and prayers -
Sue
Elaine, I'm so sorry you're still facing this situation with the bridge project. Anything that threatens our sense of home is always incredibly stressful, I find, and with the kind of pain and exhaustion you're coping with, it must be doubly hard. Hang in there! I hope that between your brother, you, Rob, and the state, you can find a satisfactory solution for all of you.
ReplyDeleteThe busy-ness with grandkids sounds like both a joy and a challenge--so wonderful to be able to be present and to share their accomplishments, but hard on you at the same time. I hope you are able to step back and remember their love for you sometimes and take some refreshment from that--it's unconditional, you know...
Glad to hear your peas and veggies are coming along. It's always a pleasure to see life thriving. You will have sunny weather at some point--you just *have* to!
Take care--many warm wishes.