Isaiah 55:8 "My thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways," declares the Lord.
I've been pondering this verse for a couple of days now. What does it mean when the answer is different than the one I think is right?
I often think that I would be a much better person if "only" I was well. I could do so many more things. I could work, volunteer, babysit, go on long trips, exercise,....... then I look back and wonder who I was "before"? Was I a better person? Did I accomplish anymore that was worthwhile? When I am honest with myself, I have to answer no to that question. I was busier, I did more, but I don't think that it was necessarily "better".
My relationship with God was not nearly as strong. I was always compassionate, but I have learned so much more about compassion in the years I've been sick. I've learned that things are not always as they seem. I thought I knew all the answers. I have learned that I indeed do not.
I have asked God many times to take away this disease. He has chosen not to. I have asked Him why? He has chosen not to answer me. Instead, He has strengthened me and given me more than I could ever ask for. He has deepened my faith and blessed me in so many different ways. You all are now a big part of that blessing.
My personal life is full. That is one of my favorite ways of describing it. Full. Not always full of good things, but indeed full. God has supplied all I need to live this life He has given to me. I run to Him and He fills me up.
I choose to believe that while the answers to my questions are NO, there is a reason. There is something better on the horizon for me. I don't know what it is, or how it will present itself, but I know its there. I will wait and try to be ready when it arrives. I will live while I wait. It may be from my bed or sofa, but I choose to live, regardless of the circumstances that come my way. I will learn all I can about my condition, I will do the best I can with what I have been given. I will continue to look forward. And upward. I will walk with Jesus down this long road.
One of my favorite songs is "Praise you in this storm" by Casting Crowns. It says it all.
Thanks for being part of my blessing. I am finding more of myself through all of you.
Blessings to you all,