Friday, January 14, 2011

Missed appointments

I tried.  Oh how I tried... I just could not make my apt yesterday.  I got up, made it to the living room, back to the bedroom and knew.  I simply couldn't do it.  No strength, no energy, no way.  So, I called and cancelled.  I went back to bed and slept another 4 hours.  Felt a bit better, but not much.  Erggggggg.

I hate it when that happens.  I wanted to go, planned to go, and poof, couldn't do it.

Ever have those days?  I have gotten to the point of not making commitments because I never know how I will feel.  Some people understand and some don't.  Sometimes I think if I hear "you don't look sick" one more time I will scream until I have no voice left.  Of course I won't really do that because it takes too much energy. 

I've become an energy saver.  Always thinking about how I can conserve energy and still function.  I try to make one trip out of one room into another with everything I might want or need.  Of course that takes planning and with brain fog like mine, that is a joke too:)  I also have ADD, so that adds to the problem of organization.  I can't tollerate the meds for it, so I just have to make do.  I was diagnosed last summer.  I had always known I was "different" and had to work extra hard to keep up with everything.  It was a relief to know there was a real reason and not just a lack in me.

How do you save energy?  What works for you?  How do you cope when you just "can't"?  I am always interested in what works for others?  I rest, sleep, pray, watch TV, read when I can, and rely on my husband Rob to help me.  Two of our children live close by, but they all work and are super busy.  They help when they can though, and always if I ask.  I also keep talking to a minimum.  It wears on me when I'm down.  There are times when breathing is an effort.  Anyone else ever feel that way?

I also try not to waste my energy on negative feelings.  I have discovered that it takes a lot of energy to be angry or sad.  I try really hard to just not go there.  Or if I do, not to stay there very long.  That helps me too.

This has all made me more dependent on Jesus.  He helps me make it through the days and nights.  He is with me and loves me no matter what.  What a comfort that is!

I hope you are having a great day today.

Blessings,
Elaine

4 comments:

  1. I can completely relate here Elaine...as I write from my sofa. I am sorry you had to cancel once again. ME/CFS is relentless and unforgiving..unpredictable at it's best. What you list for coping is good! I do all those too and add affirmations that will keep me from getting discouraged when I am counting the bumps on my ceiling. For some reason I continue to be amazed at how bad the crashes and relapses can be. Sending hugs and prayers.

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  2. Yep. We've all had those days! And the best thing to do is listen to your body and rest. Pacing and resting are two important parts of treating your body well and having enough energy to do the things that are important to you.

    Here's an article on pacing: http://www.chronic-fatigue-community.com/chronic-fatigue-pacing.html

    As far as resting, most of us find that one to three lying down, eyes closed rest periods at least half an hour long are helpful. I use a sleep mask and listen to relaxation music while I rest. I can really tell how I'm doing based on how much rest I need: Sometimes, I rest for over an hour, and sometimes I'm antsy during the whole half hour. But it's always helpful.

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  3. Renee, thanks for the kind words. I am also amazed at how "bad" things can get without warning.... the never knowing is hard on me. I used to like to plan:)

    Blessings,
    Elaine

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  4. Shelli,
    Thanks for your comment. I will look up that article and try to remember to rest before I crash.... I tend to forget - even all these years into this.

    I appreciate the help.

    Blessings,
    Elaine

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